Wilkum tu mai belock… injui!!!

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

u do know where this is taken if u did knew…
kinda lame. sorta.

   

i was trying to blog in other webblog, but i couldnt. i went blank for 5 minutes trying to figure out what to type in. then i come here, my mind can speak more here than there. huhu!

Selamat Awal Tahun Baru Hijrah 1429…

( why ppl write "awal" in the middle of the words? mcm, Selamat awal tahun baru masihi 2008… nda ngam. n apa Selamat awal tahun baru hijrah in inglis aa? hmm )

i bought this book last nov overseas, but i didnt read it. coz if i read, god knows when will i stop. the book is interesting. nya:

"to whom who want the world, u must have knowledge.
to whom who want the "akhirat", u must have knowledge.
to whom who want the world &"akhirat", u must have knowledge."

 whatever thing we do, we need  knowledge. to be successfull, u need knowledge. to be rich, u need knowledge. to be poor, u also need knowledge.

all in all, what it trying to tell is knowledge is power. knowledge conquer everything.
knowledge come in many ways of life, yet we learn. in the book also says:

"whatever happen around us, there is a reason for it. A reason that can tell by naked eyes." i like this subject. mcm, u need to think to figure out why. hehe. some people dont care. i dont care. but the reason lies behind to what happen is a lesson i cant find anywhere.

continue elsewhere…

my general conclusion of the book:

"in life, nothing is impossible. yet nothing come easy"

a book is just a book. what i need is a knowledge,a story to learn. (nerd!)

FIRST THING FIRST.

Just like others do: Happy New Year 2008.

( i dont understand… what is exactly the meaning of "new"? everyday is new~
hehe so damn brain of mind~ so brilliant~ so random~ so thinking~
hehe~)

its been awhile since my last random thought to be "type-in-telize", i would like to "type-in-telize" it again. Mybrain cant stop talking! shush!

lets esplore my miind~

MYDAY~ MYDAY~

i slept late before. around 4 or 5. i was busy doing some stuff. then, later tomoro i need to renew my driving license, appointment with the ppl, pick up ordered stuff, help grandpa, proceed another stage of project RJ45, etc. so much to do in so little time.

the plan was wake-up at 7
renew license at 8
appointment at 9
pick up order at 10
project 45 at noon
help grandpa at 4
etc at night

that was the plan, unfortunately, i was busying doing what-is-it-i-also-dont-know.

i wake up at 7
i renew mylicense at 8.30, but i was late to go. i skip renewing the license and go to appointment with them in gadong. then, gone to airport lama to pick up stuff from Usa.

i dont know why i renewed my license di land transport which is wasting my time, instead of post office i just been. all in all, i feel guilty to myself for being irrelevant.

i take mynumber at 10am, current number 1030. mine is 1054. instead of giving up i stay there and wait. but then, as im looking for seat i met an angle there. hehe. i was quite surprise to see sweet angle there. looks like her bro just got lesen. awh~ for sure meeting angle is the best part of d day.

awhh~

i wait and wait. i can feel the burning of my every minute, every second wasted. likewise, i dont have later. i dont have tomoro.

at 11am the number was 1036! i keep patience. then, at 11.05 the number was 1050. then my number called after short time. it might be sound silly but i was there. watching and observing every detail. im not surprise. they dont want work time interfere lunch time… its human nature, for some.

here comes the worst part, 2 counter was open. i was serve in one, an old man at other. due to respect i ignore the old men be "friendly" the counter lady. uhh~
then, as i finish my thing, i just need to record my data to book by myself. the book was infront of me. then, he took that book without even asking or telling. urgh! i didnt say. i just give face to that old man to record his detail. sklinya, he dont let go of the book. he wait until the counter lady give back his detail. i just patience. then, she give back his detail. guess what, he hold on to the book, wait for his son detail. uhh?

know what i gonna say? i want to say: "Pachi… baik talan buku aa!" but i didnt.
cause i know, even if i say, it wont do anything good.

i didnt have chance to lose temper. i dont have time to be exact. i just ask him, he dont even feel sorry. slumberly he gave me that book. oh goodness! but i dont have time to response to any of his rudeness. cause this kind, its selffish.

hehe. im not exagerating, i feel sorry for that old man. immoral at his peak. hmph!

i helps grandpa at 4.30 pm, until night. i didnt do my etc, project RJ45. i was and am tired. oh oh, on the parking lot, ada couple fighting. old couple talk-fight. the husband is winning. haha atupun di gtau. because, i realise, i wont be like that.

there is reason for every action~

03.12.07, ENVY ME.

it was my birthday. 21th. there she was, smilling like when the ocean touches the sand. (uh?)

what happen those day… just stay in me. on the moment we met, ntil the moment we left. i dont need to type-in here. otherwise, it wont be beautiful. i remember every detail, like u dont know me~ heh. from the moment the walk up that stair until she get into her car. from the moment i stare those eyes to the moment i lose it. from the moment she start to gigle to the moment i start to realize it. from the moment she speaks to the moment she stunned. those moment i treasured~

what makes tomoro special is because of yesterday’s story.

SUATU MASA.

i was wondering, in time, what would bunei look like? how or what could happen to this bunei? in time…

last night, after A+ klass, around 10. We havnt move from our seat cause we fell jobs not well done last night. We try to install Window NT server, Window 2000 professional… but couldnt. Win NT dapat di install arah computer ku… tapi computer si azim nda dapat. yatah we stay and try to figure why the comp cant install NT or 2000 tu.

Instead of troubleshooting comp tu, we talk and discuss other thing plg. Left there… me, zulazim and hajikam.

Usually when having conversation with hajikam ni, ppl will try to runaway… hehe, meaning, if he start to talk, he will never stop. what i like about what he said is it gets me thinking.

tapi mostlikely, what he said is true. we tend to ignore or close our eyes from seeing reality.

I never been to indonesia, but segi logiknya and koman cinnya… yesh! (apa yes?! hehe)

in indonesia, the country wont develop without help from foreigners. yesh! most of the business there setup by not-indon. yesh! what i know, most business sana atu setup by singaporean, malaysian. yatahkan… where do the local go? where the local be? what did the local do? sori to say, the local majority jadi kuli. kuli i mean foreigners employee catu. even if the local have super-degree, super-master, super-doctor… they still employee. yesh! its like, u are pond in ur own chess-game. (huh?)

because of the foreginer, the country develop like what u seen or known. the local can develop on their on if they just have own resources or own money.

or maybe its just my thought.

then, when come to us… bunei do developing. but 1 day in developing countries, 10 years in bunei time. its true jua… :s

the money is wasted on that obviously unprofitable. lot of example~ while some are cheating on the gov money. the only money gets this nation grow up.

like, on my previous entry. money on the imac on every school. then, the money on whatsoever that is clearly wasting. as result, the money unlikely do any public goods.

there is this road, somewhere in bandar. it been like that since 5 years ago. i feel ashame when i look and drive on that road. where is the eyes? whom to be blame? urgh~

moral of the story:

i have friend. my friend have sister. this sister is got degrees. academically i mean. she got 2 degree, one in dentistry, one in administration or something2. this friend said that sister got those degrees for 7 or 9 years, im not sure.

then, after long years of study, she comeback here and worked. guess what, she got $3k per month. see? u know if not-here, how much u can get with that kind of qualification? fhew~

my point is ppl dont appreciate ppl. then, the practise goes on and on. someday, nobody appreciate anybody. ppl will blame on each other instead of working together. jealousy was and is there. selfish birth in everybody.

sometimes, some ppl are good at this something. but this ppl are fit into wrong place at wrong time. bachelor of biochemist work in mfa. this stuff happen.

Another a friend of mine, he was pointed as a Head of Student Affair. that position is big. bigger than head of department or ur head. bigger than usual lecture la. then, the responsibilities is huge. but the income he receive, same like those lect who come at 8 morn and go at 4.30 afternoon. its unfair jua tu. ( he said it, not me ). then, come his positive thought… yada yada yada~ itulah inilah~ uhh~

make it worst, he gotta teach 2 subject  for the rest of semester.  see~?
one thing, ppl dont appreciate ppl. another, ppl doesnt deserve to be serve like that.

that was just what i know, and what my thought tells me.

some-not-buneian-friend once ask me. "what do bunei have that other countries dont?". the questions thrown at me get more and more interesting. i was stunned by some.

maybe its just me who dont know how to bluff.

the development here its like, a little star who want to shine at daylight.
damn i just create a perfect metaphor. hehe :p

in time, what would or could happen to my future generation?

what should i do to make it better future? how can i serve this country at my best?

back to last night story:
it is true of what he said. he said, and i agree:

"IF something goes wrong…"

by mean, he refering to bunei.
improper management, where can it lead us?

he also said, and i quote:

"Gunung mun tiap2 hari di cangkul, runtuh jua…"

refering to the dollar.
the conversation on and on until 11.30 pm.
hajikam said, and i quote, my favorite phase of the night:

"indung terpaksa tah berkorban jua~"

(korban? udah jua hari raya korban~ hmm?)

COMP-FUSE-SION before my RANDOM.

sometimes… we make it hard on ppl, so we dont want to see ourselves get hurt by other, but instead, we hurt other.

sometimes… we afraid to show, because what we feel in the end, it doesnt do any good.

sometimes… heart see more clearly than the brain.

sometimes… the more we want to see, the blurry it became.

sometimes… the only way to get close is by keeping distance.

sometimes… the answer is infront of us. we just need to dig deep.

sometimes… small can make bid difference.

sometimes… we crave to be almost perfect, when we know nothing is perfect.

sometimes… we tend to see mistake in other while we are on the wrong side.

sometimes… what we want isnt what we need, but what we need is what we want.

sometimes… its better to know and not tell instead of not knowing but tell.

sometimes… try is not an option, either do or not do.

sometimes… we need to try. we never know.

sometimes… all in those hope, we need to have is faith.

and sometimes… when i become like, pls try to stop me.

i found this video about utada hikaru song’s, first love, instrumental piano version. makes me realize how missing i am to that piano.  

its not like ppl will read this jua kan~

- crab out -

wo xiang meimei. Ni de zui jiao  wei wei shang qiao xing gan de wu ke jiu yao. xiang xiang bu dao ru ci xin tiao ni de yi qie dou xiang yao. Ni de chun gao xian yan tao hao yi gu zi xin de jiao ao. Shen me yu zhao? qi fen wei miao yin wei ai ni wo zhi dao.

-dont bother to know the meaning. it is not worth knowing for others :).

everyone change, everything change. that is how life should be. from worst to better or better to worst. either the changes are good or bad, things still need to change. most people choose to the good path. even then, some end up worst ending.

i dont know where am i standing now. u know, if this is how it goes, bunai wont go far. bunai wont be able to follow. by any chance, it can drop to the deepest ground. ntah. some are better left unsaid. even when u know, can u see how it look in the near future?

i dont ask what i dont know, i dont tell what i know.

sian ku brunai ani. do think politically, then u know what i mean. sigh. just hope that i was wrong.

aani i got from someone that i can trust, and let think "sejenak":

in every primary school in bunai, at least got 10PCs, to be exact 10desktops. each desktop cost $3k at least. got the picture? how many pri.sch. in bunai? how many pc in 1 school? how exactly is 1 pc cost? it is good to do early expose on computer for children, but do pri. sch. student need high spec. pc? do the retailers are true? all those pcs same spec? and who going to maintain those pcs? do maintenance need a cost or not? then, atu baru maintenance 1 pc. all pc brapa?

then again, lately, 8 macintosh’s pc added to every primary school. im not really sure, 8 more or less. but whats the use? general acknowledgement, Mac’s are good practice for multimedia purposes. do every school need multimedia practice? is it necessary? in the future, what do these Mac’s pc can do? lead to any carrier? i mean, in here, bunai ku?

(personal view, Mac is better than microsoft. because it is LESS vulnerable to viruses, trojans or spywares. ganya, not quite user-friendly as window xp/vista. then come linux, linux is better than those 2, friendly-user lg )

atu baru part pc di primary school. more worst is happening, but we just close our eyes, dont we?

at point, somewhere in my mind, i wonder, is this (bunai ku/ bunai mu) is what i/we/u going to showed to the world?

in mymind again, if i am a tourist to bunai, where would i go? reject all those shopping malls. where to?

in another prespectives, look into bunai in 5 years? 10 years? 20? 30? 40? 50? u sewat?

for sure, there’s nothing wrong to develop, but please do it right. not to repeating the same mistake over and over. e gov lah, itu lah, ini lah… manasajatahh.

haha. boh… abish nee kana wanted tah ku ni. but yeaa… open those eye for a while. see what u should see. keep the mouth shut in time, keep those mind awake, get those hand dirty. get busy.

i suggest; if u got leisure time, research on brunai on other eyes. i mean, there is story that never reach to brunai but spread to world media. i said, we close our eyes. some good, as well as bad. ada tu, cari sajaa~ tapi some ada yang kana block udah.

enough said, lets talk about me…

i am half-way to end this SWE semester, aka attachment. it ends in december. cant wait. what i do this in this SWE? something got to do with linux. i dont want to exaggerate, cause if i do, it would remind me to do more research. sigh. kan cuti ku ni! stop! dont jeopardize my hols~ haha. taya karang. research2 ku lari ke hack stuff. damn!. yatahh… dont start it~

in the mean time, time buat2 blog ani, im answering IQ question from someone. like, is this what u called IQ question? *yawn~*

- ok thats all babai! -

hahaha. random + crap as usual… macamtah ada orang abca blog ani jua. huhu. if u do, dont mind this blog. just rendum.

ps: let go of the past, hold on to now. get ready to what future may bring us.
(namanya melayu, melayu tah jua baa~)

say…

Waiting for your call, I’m sick, call I’m angry

Call I’m desperate for your voice

Listening to the song we used to sing

In the car, do you remember

Butterfly, Early Summer

It’s playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine

Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh

I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh

Cause every breath that you will take

When you are sitting next to me

Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What’s your fantasy?

Cause I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine

Stay with me tonight

And I’m tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment

makes me want to come back home

…I know everything you wanted isn’t anything you have

Cause I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine

Stay with me tonight

…I know everything you wanted isn’t anything you have

courtesy of Secondhand serenade - Your call.

Tonight is saturday night. i feel sleepy but i cannot sleep cause i just sleep. i sleep when it is not sleep time, but when sleep time i dont sleep. <<< see. i do need sleep hehe

Life tomorrow will not the same as life today. It can be better, it can be worst. It depends. Well, my life now? Only god knows. im blessed. hehehe… $~

why do i blog? cause i’ve been do research on linux since 2000hrs tadi. now 0000hrs. im almost-not-yet-alot-more-to-search-to-be done.

Apa linux ani? -medium computer punya OS

apa beza linux sama ubuntu? -linux ada 300++ OS, 1of them Ubuntu. Ubuntu paling latest 7.10, gusty gibson. tapi masa ani yang di kira stable, ubuntu 7.04, fiesty fawn. Ubuntu paling top arah distrowatch.com.

apa beza ubuntu sma xp?  -apa yang samanya? nada sama lah. Ubuntu under linux. xp under microsoft. Linux terer arah medium komputer, microsoft terer arah PC. ‘akan tetapi’, microsoft vunerable to birus,spyware,trojan. today, blue screen apears to me more than 5 times. blue screen as in, the system got hang, tukar blue screen tia, then terrestart tia sendirinya… yatah. the germs become script udaah.

wat ubuntu requirement? -sama mcm xp. malas ku kan taip2

napa ubuntu? -pasal cd OSnya free. original la catu. if, microsoft window xp/vista $100 above…

apa OS? -operating system laa… operate-system.

apa ada dengan ubuntu? -ofcoz ya nda sama mcm xp/vista. ada uniknya laa.so yang perlu tau, cana kan peer-to-peer lau kai Ubuntu ani. ubuntu sama ubuntu. ubuntu sama xp. pakai wayar cana. pakai wireless cana. mun software, cana kan stablelize ya. different software different caranya. udah tu, nya sir, "lau bluetooth, mau?" oh shizzit!

then cari g cana kan install webserver. install ok plg, tp how to use/configure is such as hell. alum plg cuba,tapi usul2nya… hehe. then, openoffice database inda stable. wizard in database atu nda mau di click. troubleshooting tia g. still unsolve. uhh!.

hardware specification still unfigured plg, as in, what hardware used in those PCs. like, in some cases, everything about it is the same, but napa ya nda mau buat sini… arah PC sana mau~ troubleshooting g.

troubleshooting isnt hard when u got experience. say, im a newbie. dont expect anything bizzare. i think to think.

and then, yg kan diconfigured ya punya DNS, apache2, firewall, etc, bnyak g~! ..sir mau GUI, what i have text-based saja…

sigh. thank god, u around. i feel at ease looking at urs…pictuer

kerna yang indah itu kamu. lalu mata pun nantuk. okeyz, babai. nanti g sambong~

 
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can’t replace
And now that I’m strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I’ll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It’s okay…
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I’ll be the one

I will never let you fall ,let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all ,through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you’re my, you’re my true love, my whole heart
Please don’t throw that away
Cuz I’m here for you
Please don’t walk away and 
Please tell me you’ll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I’ll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

courtesy of redjumpsuitapparatus - your guardian angle

soon…

U wanna roll like i do?

u… CHICKEN UP?!    say what?

   

i just wanna break u down so badly~ make damn sure~~…

aaa… greetings ppl? halo?

been a while since my last blog, been busy… kira usin~

"just stop by saja". bah bye… :p

this things happen to my lappy, nice~

i got more nicer one. everyfont in my lappy dissapear like sh*t. like ada windownya, tapi fontnya nada… even start menu/program… nadabah! nada kuar huruf2nya atu… ada plang, yng timer atu saja… sigh.

i did troubleshoot, conclusion system32nya kinda corrupted. hmmm… cuz of the reckless bitdefender antivirus, ya detect virus tapi do nothing about it. rank saja numbo 1 tapi talo. previous antivirus expired yatah tukar anti virus. currently stable plg, as in antivirusnya, i use panda antibirus+firewall 2007… much more beter, every single thing u do, they alert. ya detect and take action. nda talo, tapi… tapi lau check emel apa lagi, ngak mau sih~ overprotected aa.have to turn off the panda’s bru tia dpt. even frendster or anything yng perlukan password.

easy solution to solve this probs is format plg. tapi… format is my last resort. like i got 39GB of songs… collection of months can lose in a click of a button or two. yatah still got hope i guess, can find other way than format~… its just like a puzzle that alway suffered u before u can conclude it.

"just stop by saja"….

lets make it happen! i dont know why, but i like it. thats why i like to play, cause i dont know why… i dont need a reason.

four, tres, two, uno!

Listen up ya’ll, Cuz this is it
The beat that I’m bangin’ is stintilicious.

<<<<<and it has begin…>>>>>

i know, iv start typing crap again. hehe… its been a while bah since my last blog.

actually, this blog, this one yg u guys currently reading. btah udah ku taip.gnya nda pandai siap…(maklum,nada dateline bah! :p)

hehe… ok jua blog ku ni, rumit. time ku taip2 blog ani, sakit pala ku, haha. ok jua complicated2 ani. in the end, it means something worth. let me search for that meaning. apakan? kuluk2 kata ku anih… napa ya kan?

in the end, u’ll be glad after reading my blog. haha. because u enjoying it. then u’ll wait for my next blog g, which i can tell it will be out… aaa…. aa… insyalah, if ku rajin ada tah ku blog tu.

(lame intro)

i want what i want is what i want…

<<<<<all my life,i prey for some-bed like u>>>>>

huhu! i got new bed~ sadang la bsarnya. cukup2 ntuk dua urng,aku sorng pun cukup yg bnrnya… nada urng mau tidur sma aku :’(~ uwaaaaa….

nyway, hehe… talo! nada nyaman tidur ku… awal kli ku bngun a. abis sakit badan ku.mcm time bngun tu, ouch…ouch…ouch… hehe. i know,adopt the livin’!!

sigh.sayang ku kan katil lama ku; nyaman tidur, sanang gulik2, bnyak ilham ku dpt dri katil lama ku atu.kenangan nda plang ada, tapi… tapi… sigh. lives goes on?

(haha.c azmi pkai word "sayang" udah eh! napa ya kan? haha…)

(aku pun hairan! hmmmm… mushkill! napa ya c azmi ani kan?)

katil baru ni apa ada?! kan gulik2 payah: luan tinggi, kang taguguu ku. naa g nyaman tidoo ku…

ngusut jua aku ah. haha… andangnya, as we grow up. we learn to be demanding, thats what ppl do. haha…NOT! noolaa. "avoid the crowd n be yunik", nda ja? JAAA… idunoabtuguys

i know its kinda hard to accept something knew. hehe… true eh, but yet its nothing wrong to try, right? menderita plg at first, tapi in the end, its worth.

ada plg tgarak hati ku kan pakai katil lama tu… :p just give it a try aa. things should be getting better, right? kanan? …(scarcastic aku aa :p)

i emphasize the word "try". only time will let us know when, what, why, how, who, where things should be. (yakah? aku antam2 sja.) 

(talo nyamuk bini anih!!! gigit2 aku, luan jua ih. gatal tah banar!!! aaargh!!!)

hmmm… ada katil baru pun, ntuk ku tidur gnya. i mean, as i always do. balik rumah is to sleep. jarang kan liat tivi, kana conquer aa. yatah bah… jarang lah ku ada d rumah.

yatah kan…

a day after i got new bed, my mum got my sisters new one too, king size g tu. kambings. hehe. tpi durang share. mwahahha… (kira nyaman kan hatiku lah tu,hehe)

<<<<<Si MISTER TOO>>>>>

Aku d itb, semester 2 udah.

Semester 2 ani g unitnya getting un-understandable. lecturernya g makin sadis.

ohh~ hidup semakin perih~ apakah emas yang akan ku dakap? ooh~ terseksa otakku~

everything we learn in semester 2 is new. sometime ada jua ku thought the topic the tought lame. hehe. like, "uhuh… so?whats ur point?" hehe.

im glad i can understand 1 week lesson in a day. hard plg… argue sana, argue sini, tpi in the end it worths something eh. (yatah tu nahh… escape tah lagi! nyasal! )

in semester 2, i start to wear jean, slippers regularly, rambut lipas kolar, ahir dtg, escape klass, sit at the back n do crap. hehe… good thing, i never sleep in class, nda mo tidur la. i tried plg, but cannot. wehe

hahaha… adakan, one time, when i was refreshmen d itb, the lecturer expect us to know this… "1+1=10" TALOOO!!! kusut jua ku tu.

actually 1+1=2, tpi 2 is in decimal number, in binary number 2=10… good thing im understandable (at time)

i dont like… waking up early,mandi,start engine,bersalin,and go itb.then missed breakfast again. but IM ENJOY DOOING IT. haha… ntah aku pun nda phm~

oh and and, in the toilet, im use to the paip yg main push and water goes out. lapaskan the paip, its stop flowing in a sec. yatahkan… i like to do that. biasa udah.

so at anytime, at anyplace… b’biarkan tia aing tu b’bazir, ntah ah… knapa ya kah.   

<<<<<and the story goes…>>>>>

hahaha. sigh. im in love? hehe. time oh time…dont play play on me. (eh?)

and if that is what you think…

<<<<<and what i think it was, it really is…>>>>>

<<<<<wats more about me>>>>>

>GILAa stress ku ih! mcm… mcm… mcm… mcm kan jadi gila ku. hehe… sasak ku ih.

very stress d rumah, like, "wang! antar c killa!" "wang! agakan killa" "abng ami, antar kan ku ugama" "eh… ko jln? kirim, i need it asap."

>bangun pagi, antar killa skula… :(. udah tah tampat kluar masuk satu ganya, everybody g mamajal. i did tell u ppl i dont like traffic. wasting time bah. should i invent teleport? yg mcm apatu…skjap ada, skjap takde… APAKAN??

lapas antar killa skula, have u wait ntil they all gone. because, the sista’s usually/always lupa tutup karan terikah. ish…

more talo if i forgot the house is lock or not. padahal be lock, tapi have to cek jua… ahir tia ku skulah g…

>i hope, with the presence of amah, thing’ll changed…

btw, mentioning about amah… oh god! our new amah tu named something yuni. i was liked… eh?! boh? haha, when mymum called her named, it reminds me of someone. hehe, cant help it, i smile to myself. if us, we just called the amah auntee… so as for u guys. (god! y should it be that name? tepakai kali mymum kan that name… hehe :p)

>when im stress, i prefer sleep. which mean i sleep alot lah tu. some ada yg ke pantai tenangkan fikiran, ke pantai pun apa guna, it wont solve any problem. right?

hehe… tidur pun nda solve everything. tapi im pretty much tired of thinking bah. i can rest my mind n think back how to solve things.

tapi it works for real life plg, time2 aku lagi down. i mean if buat kaja skula, stress=tidur? bila tah kan siap tu? hmmm…. i duno watudu if down brabis.

>sigh. i really need a consultant right now. god… help me pls.

i can be ur consultant in something. but when that something happen to me, ish… im all lost. who to turn to? my favourite wall?

i cant go on when im lost… however im quite ok right now, trying to get back to the track. trying to find my self. trying to get my motivation and moodition back. sigh. future oh future.

>btw, would u believe if i say im dead but alive again???

>some says, my hair is getting longer. hmm… i dont understand. do they compliment me or is it that kinda way to say that im attractive in-a-way??? hmm…. *berfikir* hahah (perasaaan~)

>hmm…every monday and thursday, abis klass pkl 4.30. tuesday and weddy awal balik catu lah… yatah if ku balik awal, kana suruh2 tia. its ok plg, i dont mind actually. im trying to be positive: my sister ane kononnya sibuk laa. yng sakitnya, my sister palak2 dapan tivi… aku jua yg kana suruh atu. ish. i got list of things to do. if kna suruh2 nda tia t’buat kaja2 kutu. ish.shittish!

so ppl, if u wanna bring me jln, just shoot it. i’l try to make it. hehe.

this sunday,11.2.07 my sis bertunang. ka jima, my 2nd sister. hmm… its going to be hell-of-busy-day. aga nini g apa. all the kem stuff. food stuff. rumah stuff. commodity stuff g. sigh…

mana g tambah jumpa urang asi2. ehehe… yatahkan, time arah my cozns, gtau-ing about my sis engagement ani, we lepak n cakap kusung kjp.

yatah nya my cozn ni, abg halim, ya di atas, kami d bawah,

ya tanya arah abg ajis "jis,sapa betunang ah?"

abg ajis jwp "si jima, ari minggu, pkl 3"

udah tu, abg halim tnya g "si lina? bila ya b’tunang?"

abg ajis jwp "eh mi, si lina nda ya b’tunang?"

aku reply "tunang eh! tunggu ada jodohnya lah, b’tunang tia tu. tunang ya dulu, bru ya kawin"

abg halim tnya dgn sasak2nya "si jami(saya)… bila ya b’tunang?"

everyeye on mi, n aku mcm "… … …" senyum saja, as if i wasnt listening to anything.

abg ajis jwpnya "si jami tu buaya tu.malar ku liat ya d gadong,tukar2 bini2 dgn ya b’jln…" talo bising g tu.

i was like "… … … shit! where got? 1 jua gnya!" dalam hati plg tu. hehe. i just senyum, n lari from them. i know, if d balas, makin menjadi tu. sigh. this sunday have to meet those kinda characterize figured. oh man… malas kan d layan ih.

fhiew. atu ceta my father side, alum g my mother side. i dont wanna know. hmph

<<<<<miss=more indomi=more milo=more love>>>>>

apa? comment ku tutup tu… jgntah harap kan b’kumin2. takde makne nye~ buli saja ku arah teesti. k, adios amigos… sampai ketemu lagi bapak2 dan ibu2.

sgala yg bright color tu, aku post saja, tapi aku malas kan suruh kamu baca. aku tau kamu kesilahauan. peace.

sigh.words cant explain everything…

napa kamu senyum2 ani?… whats the joke?

im about to say more. but im forgot. i’l continue next time… next time if god lend life to live.

malas ku kan bloggin ih… nanti tah saja. nda ku ada mood kan mmblog… sigh.

…malas ku bah!

btw, im still alive . . . live without…

sanay wala nang wakas mean oh sani! pinang tah aku lakas2…

akum evryone…

this is the nearest time i could give..xoxo dont blame me, blame the time. who ask "him" to run. alum terbuka hatiku kan m’blog, tpi im squeezin my free-precious time. u dont know what i’v been through.

-=<<IONCEWOREDIAPER>>=-

now, its almost everyday i sleep late. beside jewarat(<:),
problem with sleep-late is subuh prey. hehe. ada jua 2-3 kali T’MiSSed. hmph.
sometime when its near to subuh call, i dont sleep. krang inda terbangun loh… so, i need to do something to keep my self awake. "things that i never do when i sleep".

haha dhu! menderita? sadang~… i can bear it. its not like i have to do something in the morning. somehow, ada jua urng inda brperi-kmanusiaan atu :p

hehe, maka, terserlahlah akan jati diri ini yang berisikan dengan keberunaian, kemelayuan. janji pkl 9am, pkl 9am tu bru tah kan bangun-mandi. yatahkan…

-=<<FROM-PMTOAM>>=-

ada one time, i was hang-out with dorang; chi what, dose, shasha, encik ahmad, cha bo, saifool n me (haha suka ati bg urng nama). it was 3am. daus say 3am is still early for them to close. hehe. but that night he said he need to get up early. tia krang! (he wasnt slept at all)

while waiting daus panyap brangnya, we, yg waiting2 daus ani mbully si rahmat. haha. seriously, we ppl, see DoTa in everything. hahaha im lovin’ it!. anyways, after daus siap tutup kdai, we all went to have mid-night meal, oh it was morning lah. we went to "q-lap’s mama knocking-rice".

ofcourse 3am is time for ppl to sleep, but we, hish! my mind like so tired. im sleepy already before i came there. i came there at 2am. whatever things they/we said that night i forget already. hehe. anyway, we just joking2 n talking nonsense all the way until 4.30am. gila oh? udah tu, time kan balik, daus kan bwa road trip lagi. huhu, i really2 wna join. tpi i dun want the incident before to repeat.

so they dropped me at my ride, i get my way back home. safe n sound arrived rumah at 5am. im sure if my parent knew, i’ll be grounded (:P(im not married! haha)). tp they dun know. they know im late, but they dun know what time i gt home. ouhh. its a big world out there, i know how to take care of myself. i can survive through the flight 8-15 *eh?*

-=<<PROUDLYPRESENTS>>=-

im so sick of waiting. NAH! my new blog address (not really new lah). im moving to "htitipi: //akusedaginginbercintasamakamugituloh.blogstop.kom". moving is not the word. i guess it should be; i HAVE a blog at… ble-ble-ble… . because i still use this blog as my blog. that blog i will use it as a web log when i feel want to entry a blog. that blog is another to this blog. this blog is a father to that blog. blog is later this and before that… haha, im so much confuse!

that blog still under construction plg, as i said/ write, im sick of waiting.
sometime i thought, whats the point having a blog if it is not updated? hehe… canggih blog ku atu ah. i modify it! yatahkan… i’ll try to update more about this being.

anyhow, E V E R Y B O D Y  I S  W E L C O M i n g!!! come come and have a taste. no charge is required.

-=<<UNPREDICTEDADDICTION>>=-

o yea~ im so addicted to u babeh!

DOTA DOTA DOTA… dota is all over my head. 1 day not playing dota gerigitan rasanya. aarrrgh!. apatah lagi 2-3 hari? kan kan~

DoTa is an extension packed of warcraft-3. its a LAN game. dota is a map of warcraft, where u only choose, select and control hero. there are about +-48 heroes, depends on what dota version u play. each hero has 4 unique ability. all u have to do is control the hero, try to approach enemy based and destroy them, stay alive too. and ofcouse, use the brain. the more u kill, the more money u get. then u can buy an item to make ur hero strong. the more item u have, the stronger u are… tau warcraft kah? toing!!!

DoTa is a good way to waste ur time, n money also. my comment about this game: IT IS PLEASURE TO KILL SOMEBODY… in PAIN (mwa-ha-ha-haa). the enjoyable time is teamwork-killing (n steal someone kill… haha) so, anyone interested? fyi, girls play dota too.

waithaminute… what m i doing right now? shouldn’t i play DoTa? hehe… no lah, im saving~ :p

its dangerous. im newly addicted to 02jam. biri biri dengerus!

-=<<DOTAVIRUSINFECTION>>=-

on my blog before before, i did mention something about the-crazy-thing-i-about-to-do-in-thursday. well, nda plg crazy… sadang lah, the craziness come on weddy. let me tell u about it.

April,
6th, thurs - 4 hours
7th, fri - 2 hours
8th, sat - 3 hours. stop at 3am
9th, sun - 2.5 hours
10th, mon - no hours
11th, tue - 2.5 hours
12th, wed - 8 hours ++… haha 1st time in history, i play until 5.30am in the morning. the team was daus, sabur, rahmat, sha-sha.., n stinty.
13th, thurs - nil hours, but i came to RF, hangout sana sja.
14th, fri - nahee hours
15th, sat - 3.5 hours. stop at 3.30am
16th, sun - 2.5 hours
17th, mon - mai dai hours
18th, tue - ….
19th, wed - 2 hours
20th, thurs - 3 hours. but then, hang-out lg d sana ntil 4am.
21th, fri - forget!
22th, sat - 4 hours. stop at 3am
23th, sun - 2 hours
24th, mon - nooo
25th, tue - nooo
26th, wed - nooo
27th, thurs - 2.5 hours. stop at 2am
28th, fri - forget!
29th, sat - 4 hours. ntil 4.30am
30th, sun - forget!
May,
1st, mon - nooo
2nd, tue - 2 hours
3rd, wed - jus hang-out wit de RFs
4th, thurs - 2.5 hours
5th, fri - 2 hours
6th, sat - 2 hours. stop at 2am
7th, sun
8th
9th until today - i dont count, or else i would be disappointed, unworthfull profit.
well what do u know, jobless but $$$

can anybody count how much invesment i put to RF? haha… lau d kumpul, dpt kawin satu lagi. hahahahaha, i mean, i can buy the CD and install di rumah. in a way, it save money right? huhu. whattha irrational being. social ppl, social…

when playing one game of DoTa, 1 hour is nothing. as i said, its a good way to lose ur time. the time passes just like that.
hungry-ness n ayung-ness make me realise of the time.
at time, if it wasnt my brother there… i wont stop playing. hehe. dasar antu-DoTa.

so anyone interested? touch me! :p

-=<<IFISAYDOTA,YOUSAY…>>=-

->last time, when i saw ppl played dota, i was teasing them. hehe. cause i know, if i start to play… i will be addicted. hehe, but hey! it is true all along.

->last night play dota again. 1am-4am. i know. cha-bo dtg pkl 3am. i thought pkl 1am tu ahir udah, tpinya…

->Oh and, i dont like play DoTa in the afternoon. why? because play DoTa in the afternoon, abis b’tinggalanan zuhur/ asar/ magrib. as i said/write, lau main DoTa ni… khayal dah tu, lupa kan waktu. (dan demi waktuu~)

->it is because i got nobody to be addicted, so DoTa filled the emptyness… no can do! haha *apakan*keluar*

-=<<TEMPTATIONTOTHEWORDS>>=-

one night after playin DoTa, i was pissed by my cousin. he is nuisance to the very. hal damit di basarkannya. like he is always right, a.k.a mr.right.
what i did was only to make him feel low.

i talk the lady at the counter, infront of him (as in flirt but it not a flirt) hehe. i know. the conversation isnt a matter, what matter is dendam terbalas.

i talk, she talk, i ask, she ans, i ans, she ask, i joke, she laugh…

n then the conversation melarat tia sampai my bro t’miscal2.

udah tu, at car park. i can smell degradation of the cousin self-esteem (ek?). haha. i pretend like nothing happend.indirectly it was a revenge. i know, he cant never do like what i did. surely he is.

i know, since when i became like that. it was rude n unwise to do so. it must be the extra secreted andrenaline…

-=<<THECOUNTERLADY>>=-

im one of RF regular customers. besides daus working, very often i meet her there lah. so it makes me easier to say somethings. oh btw, she once give me "the look". if u know what i mean.

i did asked daus abt the lady at the counter, oh man… its hard to believe. she is 25, n we agree she has the 17/18 yrs look.she is a degree holder from ausie. haha. older than lagi my brother tu. anyway, my eye say she’s cute. haha. antam. somehow, i rate her "grade C" woman. *suka hatinya mnggrade orng*

…OK, NEXXTTTt!

-=<<WHO’sYOURDADDY?>>=-

->currently i try to reduce my any outdoor activities. all of the works, DoTa and stuff. i did… but then, my dad like to give me work. a tonne of work.

about few month ago, my mom was on leave. ia nda kaja tp ada activitinya. so we have "quality time" together. esei… quality lah time nya~!

few weeks before today, my father was on holliday. guess what, not only having quality time together, we tighten the father and son bond. haha what m i writtin about? seriously, my dad’s life is hectic.

when involve to his life, my life seems busy all the time. jarang jua ku di rumah olehnya. at time, he made myself push to the limit. menderita jua eh… ani kan urng biasa idup sanang. hehe. im learning what is unacceptable mistake.

frankly, i dont find it easy to work with my dad. im miserabled. because i hate it when i done with the work, ada tia kana bagi lg. waaaaargh! the most-very-truly-madly-deeply hated part that is. and kaja with my mum easier than with daddy. haha. go figure.

there are differencess between how man and woman treat their children.

->im free…

i wont let my father see me in my free time. i got a life too bah. jaga anak bini ku lagi… haha *antam* bila ku ada bini?

tpikan… duduk teranah di rumah mcm not in my do-list anymore. myself tell me that i need to do something. nada keraja, cari keraja. (DotA is for night-time only.)

well, next few weeks ada project lg. nice! my time is taken again. i should ask for increment, ask for double payment. $5000 will do… haha NOt!

->wWOOOOHOOOO!

btw, have u ever heard of twista song, sunshine? the lyric goes:

it’s lovely day. just got paid…..

-=<<SUP-PRICE>>=-

last 3rd may was ka wana bday… HARPy bIRtHdAy! we celebrate a surprise party for her di rimba and she was surprised. huhu.

it is lovely to be part of them. haha, the crazy part was when syazwan n syafiq karaoke. like we sing along with them. just antam2, n try to have some fun. haha shout everybody!

but sadly the khai wasnt there. he was working until 11. sian ya. he missed all the exciting part. NAH! SAPA SURUH KAJA!? (haha)

it was my thought: when ka wana dtg tu kan, what to shout hah? happy birthday ka? or surprise? hmm…. *thinkin*

and is it appropriate to say "congratulation" to bday girl/boy? hmmm…. *thinkin*

anyway, no present for her :p hehe how could me! im too moneyless to buy gift. bleh plg, does she want to play dota? haha NOT!

sorry, i cant join u guys k miri this sundy, im busyeh!

-=<<THEDAYYOUWASNTHERE>>=-

->the other day i was watching tv. the program is so knowledgeable. it about the differencess between; boys and girls, men and women, boys and men, girls and women. interesting isnt it? should be! the interesting part comes on how to make a baby HAHHAHA jus kidding!

we got new channel on the tv, its called "K-TV". i dont know what it stand for.
the language heard like korean. sometime when there is subtitle, it seems like korean font.
im still wonder from which country it come? ….dhu!
it could be kazakhstan tv? or could it be kambing tv? kambang tv? koala tv? kitty? kidney? ketchup? kentucky?
hahaha… dhu again!!!

sigh. my brother tu. our sassy girl series cd’s not yet returned. time orang nda bguna, ada tia terbiar di rumah tu. dunia oh dunia.

->i watched scary movie 4 last few days. haha. peanuts eh! this scary movi is punyaluru.

oh oh… how about the wild? ice age 2? MI:3? Va Dinci code? senario? over the hedge? poseidon? cars? x-min? huhu… banyak new movies coming loh!

i wna watch latest movie later, wna join? anybody care to belanja mi? haha no? ok, anyone care to be belanjaed? who dont, everybody want freebies.

im looking forward the FNF: tokyo drift movie… damn hot! banyaknya tia drifter-wanabee ni

-=<<THADEVINCI>>=-

do u know anything about "the code"? what about the death of sauniere, sophie grandpa got to do with da vinci code?

prior of sion… does it really exist? or its just fake.
fibonacci sequence, that 1.618 number.. PHI… is it true? is it matter to da vinci code?

isnt da vinci only an extraordinary artist? how could he code-code?

haha good question! how m i suppose to believe when im sceptic about it. too much theory i heard, very manipulated. isnt the book is fiction?

well, my pov, the book is one way of attraction. for some who are serious to his/her curiousity, some willing to go to paris/the church/louvre/north london investigate themselves.

nyway, i like the comment that author of "holy blood& holy grail" give about da vinci code.

as matter of fact everybody, i dont finish read the da vinci book, hehe :). halfway i read the book, i found it pretty much ridiculous.

and i discover something as i read the book, fiction story is ot my field. sure it is.

-=<<THEMACAMMACAMAZMI>>=-

->its sooo unavailing to see women driving on the road, better girls. mcm…. mcm…. men do the house work (better boys (haha!)). recklessisive(whaa?).
n im so upset to see: woman in sport merc-2door(SL?CLK?watever), 2door BMW 3series sometime, and man in 4door-small/cute car(beetles?bettles?bitels?v-tel?so on)

yes, truely its humble to see. where do we, the men, standing? *coughin* it shouldnt be like this!! haha women these days, not like those day *reminisince* (haha)
woman this day is getting advance loh. i admit that. ok… in the future, we men, stay at home, look after the kid, housework and stuff. u women, work for money to feed us, pay bills, do the thinkin n stuff.
haha jus kidding. my world doesnt go that way lah.

however, that is still ok what. y? because it would very humilliating to see "ma-chi" drive sport car. right boys?
and still ok cause i never see women drive a ferrari, here in brunei. u better not! haha… (unless i owned you!) :p

->oh people, i know how to get cheap ferrari. i mean cheaper than the original/market price. if market price is $500,000-$700,000. i could get $300,000-$400,000 or could be less.

how m i gonna get it?… what? u expect me to tell? sish! in ur dream! hehehe… (now, if i sell all our possession, i could get $300,000-$400,000… but where do i sleep?)

->btw, i wonder how that chick doing, the chick who has garfield all over her car, esp the one stuck on the mirror. :p ey u read me blog? ni hao maa?

->at the moment, i like manipulating ppl. just like my brother. its kinda annoying. mcm, we was talking about DoTa. then when i said something, he was like ter-apa-apa. yeehhhhhh! dont we talk abt DoTa? uuuuhhhh! …that what i do.(to annoy u)

->oh… pls accept my apology. i ON my msn n let it open. sorry for the unreply text. i’l make it up to ya’ll someday.

->dst sucked!

HAHAHA… it is suck! y? because dst is soo stingy. they’re stink! no offence oh. i had $8.00 in my crdt on my expire day. huh.

metroparking ugly!

i was paying some bills last time, it was only took me 5 min to drop by. man, i had to pay for the 30 min. sish! there was not metroparking overthere before, kehadiranmu membawa derita kepada ku… haha, but it wasnt my money, y should i bother?

-> al-amar beribi/jangsak re-open… yahoo.

-=<<ICANLOVEYOUEASY>>=-

its me againts the world.

how could u say u r in love when u dont know what love is.
how could u call urself a couple when u living all alone.
how could u love someone when u know that someone hate u after all.
how could u say "i love u" when u dont have a feeling for the "someone".
and, how could u denial, u say u r not in love when u R in love.

haha, as i mention, its me againts the world. love is just only a feeling…

i know, there will be more ppl hate me out there. haha. y? dont u love me anymore? *) love do cost a thing eh? do u love handsome/pretty/hot/attractive/charmed moneyless ppl?

since when…

yeah! i ain’t got all day.

-=<<IFTOMORROWNEVERCOME>>=-

here is my pov about love.

love is blind, n it blindd ppl.

love is the unexpected thing happen in life.

love is come from the heart, not from the mouth.

love is inside each, n everyone of us.

when the time is come, u will meet the one, ur true love. the love will awake .u ready or not, it will hit u.

love is one thing that makes one’s complete, make one special.

when the time is true, u’ll be loved… n u will love.

love is most valueable mature thing that everybody has to have.

love is wonderful feeling that everybody deserve to feel.

love is what cause ppl to live and love make one grow.

love can make someone out of his/her league.

love can turn tiger to kitten, monster to knight.

love doesnt come once, neither twice, it comes more n more.

although it is little for u, but for somebody, it worth million.

if u dont know how to appreciate love, u just waste ur time.

sometime in love, too much is never enough.

can u feel my love? thank u for lovin mi

sometime im wandered. have u ever seen handsome guyss with unpretty chick? or pretty girl with unhandsome boy? dunia oh dunia, tak ku mengerti.

oh ya… love doesnt end with marriage.

-=<<IDONTBUY!>>=-

courtesy of this being. nothing but something. (only available in this blog)

little tips to the little boys: me?

"girls are like attitude. u have to do little of work to get to her heart." *ring any bell?*

sacrifice mean to show how much u love her. love need sacrifice, doesnt it?
remember… capture her heart, dont steal it!

and most of all, "words". understand the power of words. word can make other happy or sad.

ey boy, when u walk around the mall or wherever with friends, n u meet a pretty-beautiful-wonderful-colourful-sexy-hot-mamah-attractive-supa-dupa-meltingism girl, jgn tah t’psst-psst.

because it is ill-mannered, old-fashion yet another thing. u follow me? it looks silly and immature. a smile is enough, right women? we ppl are growing up, to be better man for tomorrow.

when i think about it, t’psst-psst… then what? then what?…

all in all, move your step boys.

guy must take care of the lady feeling, they want to feel secure, happy, bla bla bla n so on.

guys, girl needs to be guide.

last but not least, boys (incld me)… quit understand girl. our job is to love them. love 1st, understand 3th.

the most important thing is when u need to be consult, dont look for me. hehe. look n listen deeply the person inside u.

to the LADIEh:

aaa….. i dont know what to type in here. im a guy. wel, let me try *thinkin*

should i put: ey lady… just be pretty!

or when somebody flirt to u, go for it! =)

haha jus joking.

when somebody/s likes/loves u, its ur call… to accept/ to reject that somebody. apa nya nini "not yet try, not yet know!" haha. love? try? ehh?

pretty is nothing if unwell behave, eiuw peiuw. pretty but knowledgeless? ok for me… i can teach.

*thinkin*

what guys like about girl… we/i like the way u girl talk, u walk, u smile, u laugh, u look at us *coughn*, ur smell. everything about u is amazing.

when somebody flirt u, it could mean that somebody likes u, or that somebody want something from u.

lastu biskita ni, kan jual murah kah atau jual mahal. lau jual murah bisai2 saja. "lau jual mahal, berapa sekilo?" (my siste always say this line to me, hate it so much. like she know)

hehe that isnt what i want u to know. lau jual mahal tu, ignore saja lah! haha apakan. ntah ih… lau jual mahal, jual mahal tah plg. fish is swimming in the sea, many g tu. *headache* sadly, i dont know how to fish. HAHA, n i dont buy that fish in the sea. (nobody sell in the sea jua bah) *headache more*

hehe… a word from mr stranger-to-love up there :p

trouble with love is…. u know what. tidur tak kenyang, mandi tak lena, makan tak basah…

HAHAHa, eeeuuu… disgusting! =)

-=<<NEVERENDINGSTORY>>=-

i got this new theory of our family as millionare. i let u know some other time. my mouth only speaks money language, and my fingers speak more than money.

long? my blog isnt. still, there is alot i wana type here. but speeding, the time is. stop now, i better.

perfectionist is an unperfect. because of they are aware of there unperfectility, it cause them to do things perfect. im NOT a nerd!

somehow, perfectionist not = nerd… right?